Aftermath
by Stelra Etnae
Summary: In the aftermath of the Winter War, Matsumoto tries to come to terms with her taichou's death. Can be seen as HitsuMatsu or a close taichou-fukutaichou relationship. Please R&R!
1. Fall of an Ice Dragon

_**A one-shot about after the Winter War. Depending on readers' response, may become a series of short-stories.**_

_**Please enjoy! And review!**

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**Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Romance**

**Characters: Matsumoto Rangiku, Hitsugaya Toshirou**

_Lightly flitting._

Despite several wounds, Matsumoto shook off the Fourth Division members fussing over her. She quickly ran in the air, searching for that place, the place where he had fallen. The last place she had seen him. The truth stabbed her in the heart, yet she couldn't help but hope. Perhaps it hadn't been as bad as they had thought. She caught hold of that faint glimmer of hope and held it close to her heart.

_Dancing shadows._

It wasn't hard to find him. Even from quite far above, she could see the ice which coated the trees like a delicate layer of glass. Ice shards were scattered all around the forest clearing, coating the ground like snow. Right in the middle, with ice crystals surrounding him as if to protect him, was the person she was looking for. The light passing through the ice reflected colour and shadows onto his face.

_Pale darkness._

Reacting out a hand to touch his pale cheek, she felt only the cold. There was no trace of warmth, only the coldness of the ice around him. There was no trace of the colour that was present in a living person. He was all black and white, covered in shadows.

_Torn wings without contours. _

As she carefully lifted him into her arms, she looked at the remnants of his bankai. The beautiful ice wings had shattered. Ice crystals were everywhere- hanging from trees, breaking under her feet as she slowly walked towards the Senkaimon, frozen in his hair.

_Accept beautiful death._

He was so young. Too young, still having that childish air about him, no matter how he denied it. His angry rants at anyone who treated him as a child only proved to show how young he was. His body, as she held him in her arms, was painfully light. She buried her face in his snowy hair, yet somehow couldn't cry. One as young as him shouldn't have to face this. Life was so unfair. There were so many who had done crimes, so why did it have to be him, one with such great determination, one who had done no great wrong?

She had always longed to hold him like this, but why did the reason to her finally able to do it, have to be that he couldn't do anything else? She tried to console herself that the war was finally over, that he had sacrificed himself to help win it. But it was all in vain. That truth did nothing to lessen the pain, did nothing to change the fact that she would never hear his voice again, that she would never see him open those emerald eyes again.

As she walked through the Senkaimon to be met with thunderous cheering, she couldn't bear it anymore. Ignoring everyone, she fled from the celebrations. But even as she shunpo'ed down the streets of Seireitei, passing everyone as a blur, she still couldn't cry.

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**Song: Jigoku Chou no Uta/ Song of the Hell Moth**

**Source: Rock Musical Bleach: Dark of the Bleeding Moon**

**Video: www . youtube . com /watch?vE1as6G5ZSqM (take out spaces)**

**_Note: The song is originally in Japanese. The above lyrics are translations, and only extracts from the song. And although this song and the following ones are from Rock Musical Bleach, most don't have anything to do with our dear Hitsu, so please don't expect too much from the video._ **

**_Please Review! Arigatou Gozaimasu!_**


	2. The End is the Beginning

**Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friendship**

**Character: Matsumoto Rangiku, Ise Nanao**

_I should be used to seeing this sky. _

Matsumoto stared dully at the blue sky, which seemed to mock her with its brightness. 'Why don't you cry?' she asked the clear, cloudless sky. 'Then maybe I can as well.'

_The window's borders make it smaller. _

She finally walked away from the window of her room. Today was the day after the crippling war, which had stolen her cherished ones from her side. 'To what end?' she thought bitterly, walking towards the cemetery. Today they would honor the dead of the battle.

_Where can I find the boundary between light and shadow? _

The casualties had been light in the sense that not many had died. But almost half of Seireitei had managed to squeeze into the place, carefully not to step on any graves which would be disrespectful to the dead. Most of the shinigami hadn't known them personally, but she understood why they had all come today. They had respected and even cared for, to some extent, their captains. And now they wanted to accompany them on their last journey. Many shinigami were crying, mourning for those lost lives.

Yet Matsumoto couldn't do the same, no matter how she tried. A sense of unreality hung all around her, suffocating her, blocking her attempts to take in the truth. Everything pasted in a blur, whether it was the voices or the colors of the surroundings. Color. With a pang she remembered how black and white he had been. Color signified life. And he didn't have color. Not anymore.

_A little bird strays from its flock. _

After the ceremony, she knelt in front of his grave. She traced the name carved into stone with slim fingers, as if to remember every stroke. The people around her slowly trickled out of the cemetery, but she paid them no heed. It was as if she was in a different world, detached from the others. She continued to stay unmoving there, vaguely noticing the colour of the sky change from pale blue to blazing white and finally to reddish-purple. Several shinigami had come to coax her back to her quarters, but she paid them no heed. She continued kneeling there as if frozen in ice.

_Why are you here?_

Why was it him who was lying in this place, not to move ever again? She wanted to see him again. She wanted to hear his voice again. She wanted to tease him as much as she could. Heck, she wanted him to yell at her for neglecting her paperwork. She wanted anything besides this cold silence.

_Even the morning light does not reach this place. _

Night fell, throwing darkness onto everything. The cemetery was too far away from the main Gotei buildings to see any lights, so only the dim moonlight accompanied her.

_I've even forgotten how blue the sky is. _

The rustling of a shihakusho alerted her of a presence nearby, but she didn't look up, even when the person came to her side. Perhaps it was a shinigami from her division. She felt a stab in her heart, it had used to be _their_ division. Therefore, it was no wonder that the high reiatsu of the person caught her off guard and she toppled to the ground. But it wasn't even a captain's reiatsu, but one level to her own at normal times.

Ise Nanao stood there, eyes flashing behind her spectacles. "Get up," she said through gritted teeth. When Matsumoto made no move to do so, she yelled, "What purpose do you have staying here? Not only are you hurting yourself, you're hurting everyone who cares about you! Do you think that he'll want you to do this?!" she sighed, and then continued on a softer note. "You're not the only one who has lost someone in this war. But do you see anyone else falling in depression like you? Do you see me frozen in denial in front of my captain's grave?!"

_If my heart even feels restless, I just test my memory. _

"I know it's hard, losing a cherished one. But you have to move on. You don't have to forget him. But at least build a new life for yourself. Don't wallow in the past. Nothing will bring him back." As she talked, the topic grew rather vague and Matsumoto wondered who she was referring to, the one who left or the one who was forced to leave.

_I cast off this pain._

She looked up into Nanao's eyes, and it was as if everything fell into place in her head. The unchangeable truth came to grip her, and her dry eyes were suddenly filled with tears. Tears streamed down her face in unending torrents, and she heard the sound of soft sobs near her.

_On this cold floor I calm my deep pulse. _

As she cried, something healed, ever so slightly, within her. It was as if her tears had soothed the pounding ache of her heart. She got up, shakily at first, but soon a determined air had replaced the depression. She turned to her dark-haired colleague. "Arigatou, Nanao."

She turned. "Taichou, I promise to do my best from now on. I won't let you or the division members down. Please watch over me."

_I embrace all of my fate. _

Blinking away the prickling at her eyes, she shun-po'ed towards the Gotei 13 headquarters, parting with Nanao once she reached the compound. The faint glimmer of sunrise softened everything it touched. The end of a life doesn't signify the end, but the start of another. What lies in the future is known by no one, so all one could do is to continue on the best one could. When everything seems lost, the most important thing is to never lose hope. After all, you're never truly alone.

Breathing in deeply, Matsumoto stepped into the Tenth Division building.

**Song: Semai Sora**

**Source: Rock Musical Bleach: The All**

**Video: www . youtube. com /watch?vLY1P2HW7AQ**

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**Arigatou Gozaimasu! Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as the previous one! Please review!**

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	3. Falling Rain

**Characters: Matsumoto Rangiku-centric, with mentions of Hitsugaya, and slight mentions of Ichimaru**

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_**Drip, drip, getting soaked by the falling rain. **_

It was raining. It always rained on this day. The day he had died. The heavens would cry for him, and all those others who had passed to the next world. What was there after Soul Society? Rebirth, or another world? Would they be able to meet again?

Matsumoto Rangiku stood before his grave, despite the water pouring down all around her. She didn't care about the rain. Her hair hung limp, and her clothes clung wetly to her body. But all she could see, all she could think of was that smooth stone slab sitting before her.

_**I keep my hidden feelings concealed in my sleeve. **_

For years she had put up a brave front. Seireitei had been rebuilt, and many have gone on, recovered as much as they could after the devastating Winter War. 364 days a year, she showed the world that she was alright. But that one day, only for that one day, she took down all her defenses and broke down completely. Now, the rain mingled with her tears as they rolled down her cheeks. The cold numbed her body, yet made no move to warm herself.

Some supposed that she should have recovered by now, ten years after the war. But how? It had barely lasted a year. What was a few months compared to all those years she had lived? Yet she had lost all her loved ones. Lost those two people who had been her whole world. Just that short time, hope, trust and love had evaded her grasp, leaving her with nothing.

_**The stone paving where I was waiting for you. **_

Every year, disregarding the dismal weather, she would come to this place. To be alone, without having to hide her true feelings. She always felt better after letting it out. It made it easier to face the world again. Those other days, she would bury herself in her work, carrying out her duties without fail. She had never been like this before, when he had still been with her. But he wasn't anymore. All she wanted was to be able to see him again. She wanted to hear his voice calling her name, even if it was to yell at her for escaping her duties.

_**Is the emptiness of the falling drops.**_

But that was not to be. Hitsugaya Toushirou was long since dead and gone, buried in the ground of Seireitei. Even should she find his reincarnation, it would not be her beloved taichou. So all she could do was to keep him in her memory, and do what he would have wanted her to do.

"Taichou..." she murmured, kneeling in front of the grave. "I did it, Taichou. I achieved bankai." She fingered the haori she now wore. It was newly made, with the symbol of the Tenth Division emblazoned on the back. Under it, secured to her waist with her obi, hung a smaller haori, similarly with a 'ten' on its back. "I won't let you down, Taichou."

**Song: Bengara Koushi**

**URL: http:// www. youtube. com/ watch?v=- K_ny3SOtds**

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_**The lyrics in this chapter is merely the first part of Bengara Koushi, Matsumoto's part. The next chapter will probably be from Hinamori's viewpoint, with her part of the song. Though Hitsugaya is featured in the song, none of these lyrics are directed at him. Sad. But it fits the story nicely, don't you think? **_

_**Please review!**_


	4. Spring is a Season for Beginnings

**_After a long time of not updating this one-shot series, I finally thought to wrap things up. So this is the final story in Aftermath. Hope you like it! (PS- Though I said I would do Hinamori in the last chapter, I decided to focus on Matsumoto. The result was this.) Enjoy!_**

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Genre: Hurt/Comfort

**Characters: Matsumoto Rangiku, Hitsugaya Toushirou**

_Song for you. Sadness into gentleness. _

Matsumoto knelt before her former captain's grave, placing a bunch of white daffodils in front of the stone tablet. "Another year has passed, Taichou. Even though such a long time has passed, I don't think that I have truly gotten over my sadness yet. Someone told me that I am more serious now, that I have developed a mysterious air. Apt, is it not? After all, the daffodil, the flower of our division, holds the meaning of mystery." She fingered the soft petals of the flowers, a soft smile gracing her face.

_Song for you. Loneliness into power. _

"Even though you always told me to work, I rarely did. Now, I'm doing my duties like a hard-working captain. Ironic, isn't it? My new vice-captain almost had a heart attack when she came in and saw me working. But it just doesn't feel right without you yelling at me to do work..." she paused for a moment, and then continued with the confidence that she was known for, "I'll do my best, Taichou. I won't let you down."

_Everyone leaves behind proof that they were alive. _

A light breeze caressed her face, making her hair and haori sway in the wind. She smiled as she slowly traced out the name carved onto the tablet. Talking to her captain like this always made her feel better. Every year, on the anniversary of his death, she would come to the grave and just let her feelings out. Yet this year seemed rather different. She stared at the clear blue sky in surprise.

_Under a cherry tree in full bloom is an equally red sumire flower blooming. _

"Ne, Taichou. It's spring time, and for once it isn't raining on this day. Everything seems bright and lively today, as if the sky wants to cheer us up. The sakura blossoms are lovely this year, the whole place is covered with them. If only you could see them..."

_Weakness holds the infinite potential, doesn't it?_

"Little things remind me of you, Taichou... The rain, snow, the ink drying on the paperwork... They make me want to drown myself in sake."

_Your assumptions of common sense are getting old. _

"Matsumoto Rangiku from the olden days would have given in to temptation, choosing the easy way out. But I made a vow, Taichou. That I'll face each day with confidence. Like my name, the chrysanthemum, I'll live my life in full bloom."

_If you're being crushed by your tears, then send them far away into the horizon!_

She brushed away the tears that rose unbidden to her eyes. "I won't cry, Taichou. You never wanted to see me cry. You were always sympathetic when I was feeling sad, allowing me to have the day off without complaining. I don't want to cry anymore."

_Song for you. Sharing my warmth. _

"Those same little things that remind me of you also tell me that you will always be there by my side. You'll live forever in my heart, supporting me through good times and bad. You are always there, a presence which tells me to never give up and to keep facing every day with a smile."

_Song for you. Bringing the sunlight to you! _

"It's getting really sunny now. The sunlight gives a warm feeling that is oddly comforting. But then, you never did like the heat." She looked around at her surroundings, "Spring is the time for beginnings. Everywhere, there is new life appearing. It's beautiful..." Her words trailed off as her gaze fell something she never expected to see.

_Everyone leaves behind proof that they were alive. _

A little white-haired boy wearing a simple yukata was standing in the shade of a tree. His teal eyes met her startled ones, and she saw a flicker of slight recognition pass them before disappearing. Sensing the boy's awkwardness at being seen in a place where he shouldn't be, she approached him with a cheerful smile. She ruffled his hair playfully. "What's your name, kid?"

On the anniversary of an end, there is a new beginning.

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**Song: Song For You**

**Source: Rock Musical Bleach- The Live Bankai Show: Code 001**

**Video: ****http://www . youtube . com/watch?v=llyYqppCY3k**

**_Well, that's it. I thought I would end this on a positive note. So, review! I would love to know what you think of this series._**


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